letters to the future and the past
by MedusaOfTheSpecies
Summary: "Do you ever wonder what it would have been like otherwise? If I never got the diary, if Tom Riddle never existed, if we fell in love like normal children. Maybe we could have had it all." :: In the aftermaths of the war, Harry and Ginny write letters.


**i.**

Dear Harry,

Do you ever wonder what it would have been like otherwise? If I never got the diary, if Tom Riddle never existed, if we fell in love like normal children. Maybe we could have had it all.

I'm not a dreamer. I never was. I think of the past and I'm so angry, Harry, but it's not all at you. Wars shape us into who we become. After Tom, I know that better than most.

Following the Chamber, I became someone my mother would never understand, and I'm partially grateful. This world was never kind to the death-shrouded girls like me. Had I been weaker, I wouldn't be standing here right now.

Maybe I would have been with you then, though. You pushed me away and you broke my damn heart, Harry. I hate you for that. I think I always will.

You know, my mother thinks I'm being unreasonable. She says you did it for the greater good, and that makes it forgivable. I think she got that phrase from Dumbledore.

That phrase doesn't work with me, Harry. I'm selfish and I'm petty and I'm destructive. I set the twins' room on fire once and I still don't regret it. I make people cry sometimes.

But here's where we differ, Potter. I don't leave people behind. I let them choose. And I've never gotten a chance to talk to my dead, but I know none of them went quietly. I wouldn't have either, had I gotten a chance to.

You were never good at letting people choose, were you?

Regards,

Ginny Weasley.

 **ii.**

Dear Ginny,

I do. Think about what could have been, I mean. It's what I do all the time. It's too damn quiet these days, we're all supposed to be in the Burrow now, but I can't stand the endless noise. It's so loud but nobody ever says anything. I'm staying at Grimmauld Place. I can't stay and I can't leave.

'Mione keeps tugging at her hair. She was never good at staying still and the silence is getting to her. Your brother naps a lot but I think it's only because he's still on the dreamless potions. He sleeps easily for now.

I don't wish you were here with us. Is that terrible of me? Gin, I love you. I always have. But I will never regret keeping you out of danger. So many people have died for me: Colin, Sirius, Tonks, Remus, my parents. I don't think I could have handled you dead too. I don't think I can't handle _anything_ more these days.

Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm selfish. But it's all worth it to hear your heart still beating.

I miss you, Gin. When you're ready, please, come home.

Sincerely,

Harry.

 **iii.**

Dear Harry,

When I was five, I had my first case of accidental magic. You don't know that, do you? It's funny how you can know people's darkest sides and lowest moments, and yet not know the small things—favourite colours and childhood memories and allergies.

It was over Quidditch. Mum was sick and went to bed earlier and when they made teams, I wasn't quick enough. I thought the reason they never included me was because of Mum's hawk-eye obsession with my safety, but I was wrong. They thought I was weak.

My reaction? I temporarily blinded all of them and vowed to never let myself be seen as weak ever again. How funny is it then, that despite my vow, and my years as a Chaser, as a member of Gryffindor, and as a warrior, I fall for the one boy who will never see me as anything but that eleven-year-old girl he rescued from the Chamber.

The secret to happiness is courage, Harry. I will have you as an equal or not at all. This has never been something I've been ready to compromise about.

Awaiting your response,

Ginny Weasley

 **iiii.**

Dear Ginny,

The year of the Chamber, I almost lost my mind. It's funny now, after everything we faced, after death, to think about that year being scary, but it was.

We snuck into the Slytherin common room and we found Colin's body and I remember all those sleepless nights, but none of them compare to the moment where we went to find you and found Tom. You were shivering and I was shaking and when we got out of there, I remember we collapsed in relief and it was one of the worst days of my life, but we got through it together.

I'm still that twelve-year-old boy, I doubt I'll ever grow out of being him. I still want to cry most days just thinking about our past. But Gin, if this is goodbye, I want you to know that I will never regret losing you if it means your happiness.

The secret to freedom is courage. This is the bravest I've ever been. I think this is the bravest I'll ever be.

Always,

Harry.

 **iv.**

Dear Harry,

You're a prat. You're a self-sacrificing, noble, peace of absolute twatness. Potter, what kind of person did Dumbledore turn you into? You are not a sacrificial lamb. You are not the Chosen One or the Saviour or the Boy-Who-Lived right now. You're an eighteen-year-old boy and you need to be selfish.

Why, may you ask? Because Dumbledore may have been a genius, but I agree with even the utter trash that Snape was. He sent you out like a pig for slaughter and it's _time,_ Harry. It's time to unlearn those lessons and make something out of yourself without thinking about whose toes you're stepping on while you're on the way.

I'll be there on your side, if you decide to. I'll help you raise Teddy and we can cheat to beat Ron at chess and levitate Hermione's books when it's time for dinner. We can learn how to make my mother's fudge and how to bake Muggle treats and the feeling of playing Quidditch at three a.m.

But for that all to happen, I need you to realize I'm not a damsel in distress. I never asked to be saved. You're no knight in shining armour, you tosser, but I want you anyways.

Sincerely,

Ginny Weasley

 **vi.**

Dear Ginny,

Teddy said his first words today. He said "mum" and pointed at Andromeda. Then, he turned to me and said "papa", all while his hair flashed turquoise with pride.

In that moment, I understood why Remus ran as far as he could. Teddy's so fragile and pure and I'm not like that, Gin. I killed a man and even though it was Voldemort, some days I feel it'll eat me alive.

But in that moment, I understood my parents too. I understood balancing a war and a child and why they brought me into this world despite the danger. I understood why your mother adopted me into the family and why Sirius agreed to be godfather and I almost burst into tears.

Gin, I don't want to die like they all did. I miss Tonks and Remus and Sirius and my mum and dad, and I refuse to leave Teddy behind. I want to see him grow and make messes and have fits and refuse to clean his room. I want to be the person I needed as a child.

This world broke me so long ago, but I'm healing. Hogwarts is rebuilding and so are we. Gin, I want to have the kind of life my family died for me to have. I know I have a lot of bad habits, but I'm unlearning them, one day at a time, and I want you to know I wish with all my heart you'd stay with me.

As equals, as lovers, as friends. I choose you. I choose selfishness. Please, if you find it in your heart: one last try?

 **vii.**

Dear Harry,

One more try. This time, we'll get it right.

With love,

Ginny Weasley-Potter

...

Written for:

QLFC: Write about your OTP having an argument.

Muggle History Assignment: Write about an individual fighting for equality.

Character Appreciation: (house) Gryffindor

Book Club, Gone Series: Sam Temple - (character) Harry Potter, (trope) reluctant hero, (word) light

Showtime: Sincerely, Me - (style) Letter fic

Count Your Buttons: Ginny/Harry, (word) pretty

Restriction Of The Month: No characters over 20, (quote) "The secret to happiness is freedom... And the secret to freedom is courage." - Thucydides

A Year In Entertainment: Movie: The Truman Show - (object) Photo album

Liza's Loves: In a Lonely Place

Sophie's Shelf: (style) Letter Fic

Insane House Challenge: (style) Letter fic

365 Challenge: Word - Argument

2018 Resolutions: Write a story in a style you've not used before.

Sticker Challenge: Werewolf - Write about someone who carries a heavy burden.


End file.
